Thursday, December 30, 2010

2011 - What will it bring

We all need each other no matter what we look like
2010 was a year of reflection and direction. A year for the history books, and and some real infamous people. Many people died this year, some through violent means, others in accidents, some starved to death, and others through sickness and imperfection. Some folks made millions, and others lost millions, and yet some made none. Was life meant to be this way?

I watched two people in caskets this year, one who some years ago walked his daughter down the aisle, and Turpintine. I suffered real emotional distress this year, and painful days.

Through it all I met some of the most remarkable people, who showed their spirit. People, who were my fellow quarter-back soldiers all along. I had given up on humanity, the ability of a human to be there for you.

I felt like I was fighting a loosing battle, the war was tough and bloody, I had one arrow in my chest and one arrow in my back, I was slashed and beaten and bruised, as I lay on the battlefield, I was ready to accept death, I thought, "This is it, I am done." And just then I heard a warrior cry, I turned and saw someone running towards me, "Get up!" she bellowed, "Get up! Don't you close those eyes yet! Fight!" She helped me on my feet, and gave me my sword and shield. "This is not your time yet!" She stayed with me, and we fought together, and then she says, "I am old now, but you have your whole life ahead of you, stand up, Fight!" As I kept fighting, my long time ally came by with medication and bandages, "These will help you to withstand the pain and stop the flow of blood."  We ran into a quiet place and she applies salve to my wounds and Limacol to my head. "I would like you to rest a little, but you have to get up and get moving." Along the way I found a few more people, and of course I got wounded, but I fought...and I am still fighting, and as I continue to fight, I keep finding more fellow soldiers who will not leave me behind. In addition I am able to gain strength to help those fellow soldiers who have fallen behind, some who have been shot in the backs and legs and I have to bodily carry them.......

The thing is, we all need each other at some point, no man is an island, even if he wanted to be. If he were an island, who would be buy groceries from, or who would fix his car, or sew his clothes, or who would he talk to or touch, or sleep next to...

This year I came out of my shell, in many ways. I was quite mean with a friend, and I told them off, and for a while we did not speak, usually I would not care, they could be drowning, and I will let them. In the past, I let so many people drown. I had to find it in myself to forgive, and I wanted to be forgiven, it took a good bit of weeks, and I have never been more humble in my life, they said some things to me as well, but I d,id not fight back, I said, " I understand how you feel, and I won't be mean anymore." Today we are tighter than ever, and for the first time in a long time I can say I have a friend.

Finally, I am more than willing to be a better person. I would still want to be outspoken, its a gift of speech that I love about myself, but I want to, as my mom says, "Turn a new leaf, that chapter is done in the book of 2010, let go the baggage, stop pulling it around, stop pulling out the dead dog, over and over, move on and Live!"

2010©Lisa Marie Bonaparte

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