Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Tuesday into Wednesday Mumblings

Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend, we were talking about the future, and what we would like to achieve, that we did not achieve before. He plans to relocate, in a couple of years, and get someone special to be with. I, on the other hand, did not know what to say. While his plans are under construction, my plans have taken a different direction.

Ten years ago If you were to ask me what I would be in ten years, i would state the obvious: have a family, be married, and have a good job. Well, its 10 years later, and I am no where close to sipping a beer with my husband while snuggling on a sofa watching a movie on television, on a Friday night. Somehow, I can't account for this change of plans.

These days, my Friday nights are spent either eating ice cream in St. James, driving to Chaguaramas in the dead of the night, or doing some little projects on my computer. Which in itself is not bad, it is simply was not planned. I also thought I would be dead by a certain age, and so I had a Bucket List. well, a bucket is quite large, I had a Coffee Mug list. I thought, since I would be dead by a particular age, I might as well keep things simple and contrite. I am now the age at which I am supposed to be dead, and I am alive, beaten, bruised, and emotionally scarred, but totally alive. This I had not planned. Has this ever happened to you?

Tonight, I was speaking with a very dear friend, and she suggested that I change my way of thinking, my one track mind. She insisted that I go out and meet more people, and potential (marriage mates). I am a bit straight-laced, and I am not an all-over-town type of woman. Going out for the sake of meeting a guy, is not really on my agenda. If I go out its to get food, or beer, or put gas in the car, I can't see any benefit in looking for a man. If I do find him what are we going to talk carburetor? Obama?

For the sake of dreaming I might as well clue you in as to what my wedding dream used to be like. I would walk down the aisle in a pair of yellow Converse with stuck on crystals. My hair would be in a bun (no tendrils or fancy crap like that, just a bun), and I would be clutching sunflowers in my hands, and wearing a long cap-sleeved cotton and linen wedding dress in ivory (do you know how hot silk is in the Caribbean?). All I know the groom would have on a yellow tie, I don't even know who he is, what he looks like, and what he smells like. I tried to imagine the wedding night, and I am so clueless with it, I could quicker imagine having a cup of cocoa with large marshmallows in it.

I am done mumbling, and I hope that we never really meet, while I am falling on the ground, my groceries spilling all over the place.

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