Lately, I have noticed that I forgot my sordid history, and I did the same thing that got me into trouble before. I was very disappointed in myself, and I am now more determined to learn from past mistakes.
On a more serious note, something strange happened today. I met someone who is quite familiar with my family. He asked me my name and I simply mentioned my name and nothing else, he pushed for my surname, and I declined to tell him. I felt as though my surname has become a curse. And, personally, I no longer felt proud of it. Despite the Napoleonic history, in Europe, I thought that that history is outdated and not applicable to my personality, or life. I am simply me, and I am not my name. However, my surname as popular as it may be, as beautiful, and powerful, given in any which way you think, or thought about it, has dampened my spirit and my drive to succeed. Although, I must say, that if you want to be famous, you can mention, something controversial, or do something stupid, and you can become famous and people will just throw money your way, or you can ghost write your 'story'. While you, the lonely cheese, cower in bed thinking of some offended person pelting a molotov cocktail at your home. Or not.
At one of my jobs, word through the grape vine was that I did not listen, and I counteracted it with, "well why did he not tell me this to my face, why wait, and lie to me, thinking that he is so smart to insinuate, that I, defied his every word like a swash-buckling pirate, using my rapier to slice and dice his words so that I can, 'destroy his decisions'". Had he laid his basketballs on the table, and tell me what he really thought, I would have opened my ears to what he said. Instead, he threw limestone and talcum pebble accusations, 'hoping' that I would run from the 'meeting', bawling as I did so, and admitted that he was 'surprised' that I stayed, and endured, his 'soft-spoken, invalid diatribe', only to say to another person, after and later, via the Trinidad Pumpkin Vine Association, that I did not listen. Did I? Or did you? When you are on a high pedestal, make sure it is solid and impenetrable, and chain-saw resistant. Some folks believe that heir horse is so high, it can leap over tall buildings and swim in the strongest seas, but then that is what, Hitler thought, and his 1,000 year Reich rule did not make 10 years, you do the math.
So back to my namesake, and my short pin complex, that gets people so vex. When, you don't communicate your issues, it gets lost in a jumble of buttons, everyone would choose their favorite colour, and forget what you said. So it is elementary that I am a graphic designer, with original ideas, and a passion for design, and a very colourful (british spelling), speech of humorific proportions, and I tend to place colour and personality in everything. Apparently, I am deaf, and I do not listen to people, I also wear a hearing aid, and I can see the good in all folks...and will in a moments notice, spend two cents to throw rice at birds.
Butterflies named Elementary and Apparently, fly away, and come home safely.